love be still, love be sweet
don’t you dare change a thing
i want to photograph you with my mind
to feel how i feel now… all the time...

my first time meeting Stephanie Poh was lovely,
but my first time taking a ride with her was -










please




scroll




down.













and her first photo taken by me was -

she can still pose for the camera.
how cute is that?lol.

ok back to soap!

[i need sex]

my first kiss totally sucked eww..
it's like...wasn't even a kiss.
i was terrified..
and i can still feel his saliva on my face eww..
it was like...yesterday.
i wish i were one of these kids,
they're all so adorable.

i was smoking outside just awhile ago and that's
usually when funny thoughts runs through my mind,
i began thinking, am i gonna be like alone into my 30s?
or worse, 40s? and and when i'm like 40 and wrinkly,
is there still love for me? :S

i see friends on facebook creating photo albums
titled 1st anniversary, 2nd anniversary,
5th anniversary... and the ewww-est guy i know
just got married like a month ago (another knocked-up case)
and i can't help but to wonder am i gonna be living
alone into my 50s and die eaten by my pets?

grrrrr... oh my brain can you just die for a few hours?!

i've always been a fan of mushy, corny, but romantic quotes.
i admit i'm an emotional wreck who can easily cry
over small little things.. and at times, i feel so much
like a fool for being so passive up to the point that i don't
do anything when people do cruel things to me,
betrayal etc etc.. :S

i was looking at quotes by nicholas sparks
today and i found this :

"Do you love me?" I asked her.

"Yes." Then she smiled.

"Do you want me to be happy?"
As i asked her this i felt my heart beginning to race.

"Of course I do."

"Will you do something for me then?'
She looked away, sadness crossing her features.

"I dont know if i can anymore." She said.

"But if you could, would you?'
I cannot adequately describe the intensity of
what I was feeling at that moment. Love, anger,
sadness, hope, and fear, whirling together sharpened
by the nervousness I was feeling. She looked at me
curiously any my breaths became shallower.
Suddenly I knew that I'd never felt as strongly
for another person as I did at that moment.

As I returned her gaze, this simple realization made me
wish for the millionth time that I could make all this go away.
Had it been possible, I would have traded my life for hers.
I wanted to tell her my thoughts, but the sound of her
voice suddenly silenced the emotions inside me.

"I'd do anything for you."
She finally said, her voice weak yet
somehow still full of promise.

"I would."

Finally getting control of myself i kissed her again,
then brought my hand to her face, gently running
my fingers over her cheek. I marveled at the
softness of her skin, the gentleness I saw in her eyes.
Even now she was perfect. My throat began to
tighten again, but as I said, I knew what I had to do.
Since I had to accept that it was not within my
power to cure her, what I wanted to do was give
her something that she'd wanted. It was what
my heart had been telling me to do all along.

She and I understood then, had already given me
the answer I'd been searching for, the answer my
heart needed to find. She'd told me outside Mr. Jenkins
office, the night we'd asked him about doing the play.

I smiled softly, and she returned my affection with
a slight squeeze of my hand, as if trusting me
in what I was about to do.

Encouraged, I leaned closer and took a deep breath.
when I exhaled, these were the words that flowed
with my breath.

"Will you marry me?"

[5 seconds after the sudden goosebumps i
was sitting in front of the computer crying
like a baby.]

i really just want you :(